Sickness Leads to Homesickness

I thought this post would be about our glamorous weekend trip to Ticino, the Italian speaking part of Switzerland. I would've posted pictures of Mickey and I soaking up the sun, posing in front of Lake Lugano, devouring plates of seafood pasta and would've described the subtle differences between the German-speaking and Italian-speaking Swiss. Unfortunately, this post will have to wait because just days before we were scheduled to leave, my body was overtaken by a vicious virus and we had to cancel our plans. Sure, I was mildly disappointed that I wouldn't experience the region that boasts about its Italian charm AND Swiss efficiency, but when you feel as ill as I did, folks, you don't even care. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and never come out.

But to my utter dismay, I just couldn't get comfortable. Sitting now in our house in San Jose is a sofa that Mickey bought in his pre-Alane life that I always complained about because of its greenish hue or lack thereof. Let me declare to the world that I will never utter an unkind word about this couch again. You see, the two sofas in our flat here in Switzerland are both leather, very modern and not at all comfortable. While awkwardly trying to prop myself up on the Swiss couch, I longed for the once disputed San Jose sofa and the way it allows one to sink in and forget about the world. Perhaps we Americans are a nation of couch potatoes simply because our couches are that appealing.

So the sofa wasn't my favorite place to binge-watch old episodes of The Office, but what about the bed? Sadly, the bed wasn't the ideal location for sick-central either. I believe the Swiss have a more practical attitude toward sleep and interior design in general than do Americans. They have no need for fancy headboards or decorative pillows; Swiss beds are simple and low to the ground. Because Swiss beds don't come with top sheets, making one only involves folding the duvet at the foot of the bed and straightening the pillow. I can see the efficiency in this manner of sleeping and making the bed, but when I was sick I started fantasizing about the ideal American bed. I decided it was California king sized and conjured the image of sleeping in a palace on a cloud. It is a work of art with a satiny quilt and mountains of pillows. It is so ridiculously inviting that when you climb in and curl up, it almost hugs you back.

The real life bed that inspired my fantasy is my mom's bed and I wished desperately for the ability to teleport myself directly there. This is not only because it belongs to my mother, the woman who has always taken care of me with great love and tenderness, but also because she has a high quality mattress, familiar blankets, soft pillows and a TV with digital cable that faces the bed. I really don't know how I would have recovered without iTunes and the freedom it gave us to download old television shows. Our Swiss TV has one and a half English language channels; one of them is CNN and the half is MTV (half of the programs are dubbed over in German). Can you imagine trying to get well while watching CNN? I think it would have made me feel worse. :)

I spent part of my illness on the BRAT (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast) diet and, as you can imagine, that got old really fast. The strange thing is, I developed cravings for foods that I never dreamed I would miss. One of them, I am ashamed to admit, is the Bacon, Egg and Cheese Biscuit from the McDonalds breakfast menu. I loved McDonalds as a kid, but as I grew older, read Fast Food Nation and watched Super Size Me, the Nuggies and Big Macs seemed less tantalizing and eventually, less like real food at all. I haven't eaten there in years and then last week I got sick and all I could think about were those delicious, fatty, salty, fluffy little dreams wrapped in wax paper. Guiltily, I visited three of Zurich's McDonalds, but none of them sold BE&CBs so I'll have to wait until I return to the US of A to satisfy this unusual and unhealthy craving.

It was also while ailing that I realized that Switzerland doesn't have sandwiches. I know, you're thinking that's impossible, right? If you have all the ingredients for your favorite sandwich, you put them together and voila, a sandwich. No, I am much too lazy for that. I want to be able to walk into a cafe or deli at lunchtime and order a sandwich on my choice of roll with my choice of sliced meat and cheese, lettuce, onion, pickles, tomatoes, sprouts, avocado, mustard, mayonnaise, the works. Swiss eateries don't sell sandwiches like this. You may find a roll with either meat or cheese in a bakery, but you'll never find an over the top chicken club, cheese steak or meatball sandwich. Lunch is the main meal of the day here in Switzerland and sandwiches are just snacks at best, so most people eat pasta and other hot dishes as a midday meal. I bet I'm not the only expat in town who grew up on sandwiches and perhaps opening a fantastic deli in Zurich is a million dollar idea waiting to happen.

Until then, I am envisioning the joyous day I will return to the US. I will cry when I give little Giugiu a farewell hug and say goodbye to our amazing friends here, but when I walk down the jet way at JFK International I will kiss the ground, salute Old Glory and drive my Hummer straight to the closest McDonalds serving breakfast. Okay, maybe not, but I will never fail to appreciate a comfy couch or a decent sandwich.

Music to Their Little Ears

Have you ever had one of those moments when you step back from a situation and ask yourself, 'is this really my life?' While teaching, I had these moments whenever one of my first graders peed on the floor or fought over a pencil. I couldn't believe that my adult life involved determining the rightful owner of a 49 cent pencil, and in those moments I wished desperately for the magical ability to jump into someone else's, anyone else's shoes.

I had a number of 'is this really my life?' moments earlier this week when I took Elena and Giulia to their first Baby Music class. However, whereas these moments were once accompanied by a strong desire to run away at top speed, this time around I felt no urge to bolt when I found myself singing along to 'Aleegaloogalee' in a room full of mommies and babies. The girls had a blast and seeing them happy made it fun for me too. But if someone had asked me in 2002 whilst on a date or in a job interview where I saw myself in five years, I wouldn't have pictured myself as an au pair shaking maracas to the beat during Baby Music class on a Tuesday afternoon in Switzerland. Life's funny that way.

I was more nervous about simply getting the three of us over there than anything else. I had practiced driving Paola's minivan a couple of times, but the thought of hunting for parking with excited little ones in the back seat made me feel less than confident. And the thought of navigating the not at all grid-like streets of Zurich, obeying unfamiliar traffic signs and avoiding trams almost left me in a panic. Thankfully, Paola's friend graciously offered to let me follow her caravan style into the city so I wouldn't have to worry about where to go. We made it safely to and from Baby Music class, but I hope to take the train on upcoming Tuesdays when the weather permits it.

My friend Kate has been taking her charge, 22 month old Felix, to Baby Music for a couple of months now and she warned me about what to expect. She nearly cried from laughing so hard every time she described how ridiculous the teacher looks when she leads the class in a song and demonstrates how to use the "instruments." Though I believe kids can sense when goofy expressions, baby talk and overly enthusiastic gestures are inauthentic, I have come to expect adults to look like idiots while attempting to entertain little ones.

What I didn't expect, however, was how everyone else in the room would respond to the behavior of the Baby Music instructor. While she was squealing to the music and practicing opening her eyes and mouth as wide as possible, all the mommies were casually chatting and trying to keep their babies from wiggling away. I guess we couldn't really expect the other mommies to get fully engaged in a performance they watch every Tuesday, but the babies weren't really into it either. For some reason, this made me incredibly uncomfortable. There was something very awkward about watching the instructor enact the performance of a lifetime while no one paid attention. Perhaps the teacher in me believes that the presenter, no matter how similar to Barney the purple dinosaur, deserves his/her turn in the spotlight. Maybe the mommies once believed this too until they had kids and developed a new sense of how truly involved in Baby Music one must be.

Or maybe no one really comes for the music and thus not following along with the instructor doesn't matter. Let me explain. I saw a mom bring a three month old baby to Baby Music class and wondered what in the world she was doing there. For those who don't have a sense of child development, three month old infants cannot even sit up and simply looking at their parents' faces provides them with plenty of stimulation. That mom couldn't have come to Baby Music with the purpose of exposing her son to music and other children at that early of an age. Perhaps for her and other mommies, Baby Music is more about meeting other English speaking moms in Zurich and simply getting out of the house. I could pretend that I just go to Baby Music because the girls like it and Paola paid for it, but the truth is that it is just as much of a treat for me as it is for them. It provides structure to our Tuesday afternoons and I secretly love tambourine time. :)

It's All Swiss To Me - The Swiss Government and Federal Council

I have been volunteering with the American Women's Club of Zurich for a couple of months now. Usually, I just prepare the layouts for their monthly publication, The Round Robin, but in May they asked me to write a piece on the Swiss federal government for a column called 'It's All Swiss To Me.' This column usually features an aspect of Swiss culture that American women may wish to learn more about. For instance, the article in February's It's All Swiss To Me page described the history of those Alpine St. Bernard rescue dogs. As you know, I am not at all fond of dogs, but I thought even this subject was more engaging than the one they chose for me to write about in May, the Swiss federal government.

When I started researching the Swiss government, I quickly decided that I would focus on the executive branch because of its unusual composition and secret meetings. I thought I could make the piece interesting and fun somehow, but writing it felt like a chore and the result is a boring report. Read it below or skip down to the bottom paragraph.

In many ways, the Swiss government has a lot in common with our own American system. Indeed its 1848 Federal Constitution was based on our own Constitution and the ideas of the French Revolution. Switzerland has a Federal Supreme Court which hears appeals of cantonal courts and functions in a similar manner to our own, but does not debate the constitutionality of federal and local laws. Unsurprisingly, the 1848 Federal Constitution established a bicameral legislature, or Federal Assembly, consisting of the Council of States and the National Council. The Council of States, a 48 member group consisting of two deputies from most cantons, is comparable to the US Senate while the National Council, a 200 member body whose constituents are elected on a basis of proportional representation, resembles the House of Representatives.

The elements that set the Swiss government apart from not only the American system but from the rest of the world are its system of direct democracy and its executive branch of government. In this case, direct democracy refers to the fact that Swiss citizens have full power over the law. Any citizen may challenge the law and seek to amend the constitution if he/she gathers enough signatures. Once this occurs, a national vote is called and sometimes changes are implemented. While this system resonates with a Swiss notion of fairness, some citizens feel that voting on so many referenda is burdensome.

Again, perhaps the most intriguing feature of the Swiss government is its executive branch, the seven-member Federal Council. Only two other nations in the world, Bosnia and Herzegovina and San Marino, have similar collegial systems of government, but it is not unusual for the Swiss. The 1848 Federal Constitution established the Federal Council because Switzerland has a long tradition of success with the rule of collective bodies.

The seven members are elected by the Federal Assembly for four year terms, but almost all are reelected several times and remain on the Council until retirement. There was a Zauberformel, or ‘magic formula’ which determined the composition of the Federal Council from the four major political parties during the latter half of the twentieth century. The Free Democratic Party, Christian Democratic People’s Party, and the Social Democratic Party each had two seats while the Swiss People’s Party had one. The 2003 elections, however, marked a significant change when the Swiss People’s Party took one seat from the Christian Democratic Party. Each Council member is the head of a government department and are commonly called ‘ministers’ of Finance, Home Affairs, Justice and Police, etc. The Federal Assembly elects one President and Vice President of the Council and they rotate these responsibilities each year.

One of the most important traits of the Federal Council is their collegiality. Members of the Council do not publicly criticize Council decisions or fellow members even though they are often political opponents. The Council’s weekly Wednesday meetings in Bern are completely secret and records are sealed for fifty years. Though the Federal Council is stable and viewed favorably by most Swiss, it is said to be more divisive since the 2003 elections.

Unfortunately, only five women have ever been elected to the Federal Council. And one of them had to resign because of a scandal and another was one of the few Councilors to not be reelected. Today, however, two women serve on the Council and one of them, Micheline Calmy-Rey, is its President. Around one quarter of the Federal Assembly is women and perhaps even more women will be involved in the Swiss government in the future.

How could I have infused my own voice into this dry regurgitation of facts? Do you think it would have been better if I could have written about a subject that was more interesting to me? For instance, Paola told me about specialty Swiss cheese shops and their owners, the so called Masters of Cheese. Apparently they study for several years and then take an apprenticeship for a couple more years before they can become real Masters of Cheese. I would love to write about this topic, especially if I could interview Masters of Cheese and then quote them in my article. On the other hand, The Round Robin could use some fresh material and ideas. I was thinking of suggesting to the editors that they add a new column featuring one post from an expat American woman's blog (like mine, or Julie's or Meggie's) each month. Ideas?

Supermarket Showdown

This title may sound like a hideous new game show combining the theme of Supermarket Sweep with the final round of The Price is Right, but thankfully it isn't. For Mickey and I, meeting our most basic need - feeding ourselves, has been a challenge not because we don't like the food here, but because getting it requires a trip to the sometimes not so super market. It's not that we minded bringing our own grocery bags, weighing and pricing our produce, bagging our purchases and never shopping on Sundays, it was hunting for the items on our shopping list that made every trip an adventure. Sometimes our supermarket simply doesn't have a particular food item we need for a recipe, other times they do carry it but we don't know its German name and we have to pull out Mickey's Blackberry in the baking aisle, search Google translate and find out that yeast is hefe.

There are two major supermarket chains here in Switzerland: Coop (pronounced 'cope') and Migros (pronounced without the 's' sound). Migros supermarkets come in three sizes: M, MM and MMM. As you might have guessed, the single Ms are small (only a slightly bigger than a liquor store, just more crowded) and carry only basic items, double Ms are larger and satisfy most of your shopping needs while triple Ms are suburban monsterplexes with not just food, but clothing, books, toys, linens and everything else under the sun. I've never seen a triple M, but I doubt it's as big as a Super Walmart. I know that bigger isn't always better and I didn't move to Switzerland to shop anywhere that resembles a Super Walmart, but it seemed unfair to compare my local Safeway in San Jose with my neighborhood double M. Until now...

On March 22 of this year, after more than ten years of planning, negotiations and construction, Sihl City opened for business. Sihl City is a shoppertainment plaza not unlike The Block in Orange or Pasadena's El Paseo featuring a movie theater, restaurants, shops, a hotel and, of course, a supermarket. This mall isn't even half the size of either of the aforementioned southern California outdoor shopping meccas, but it is enormous for Swiss standards. As luck would have it, Sihl City is a three minute walk from my door; it's even closer than my double M. Now that my Rivermark Safeway has found a worthy adversary in my brand new Super Coop, let's see how the two stack up in an aisle by aisle showdown.

Wine and Spirits

Here, Super Coop is at a disadvantage because they aren't licensed to sell hard alcohol; they only have wine and beer. However, their wine selection is vast and they stock enough bottles to intoxicate the entire city. So if you wanted mojitos on a whim, Safeway is your one stop shop, but if you want a bottle of wine to impress even French dinner guests, Super Coop has you covered. We'll call it a tie. Safeway: 1; Super Coop: 1.

Produce

It is hard to compete with California in this department. I've been spoiled by the salad greens from Salinas, seedless table grapes from the San Joaquin valley and avocados from my own backyard. You'd think that globalization would have made it possible to enjoy all of these fresh treats no matter where you shop, but this isn't the case. Swiss produce is labeled as such at Super Coop and government subsidies make it a lot more affordable than off season strawberries imported from Chile. I'm happy to support local farmers, but they simply don't grow peaches, cilantro or squash. And by Saturday evenings (remember that you can't shop on Sundays), Super Coop has run out of the few fruits and vegetables that they normally stock. Sorry, Super Coop, this is a runaway victory for the California store. Safeway: 2; Super Coop: 1.

Meat and Poultry

Do you like having variety when you shop for your bratwurst? If so, Super Coop is an excellent choice for pork sausage and lamb. If you're looking for anything else, shop at Safeway. I was raised on chicken and good ol' American beef and unfortunately for me, these are some of Super Coop's most expensive meat products. It would be fair to call this one a tie because superiority depends on personal preference, but Safeway's seafood section secures the win. The seafood section (or freezer) at Super Coop is what you'd expect from a landlocked country; need I say more? Safeway: 3; Super Coop: 1.

Dairy

Perhaps the fact that Safeway's own line of dairy products is called 'Lucerne' (the name of a Swiss town and lake) lends a clue as to which market has the superior dairy products. I imagine that the marketing executives at Safeway branded their dairy products with the 'Lucerne' label to conjure images of rolling green hills and charming cowbells in the minds of shoppers. I don't know how effective this strategy is, but I do know that Super Coop has the real thing. They have milk, of course, with as much or as little fat, vitamins and pasteurization you could dream up. Unsurprisingly, the cheese and yogurt aisles extend half the length of the store. I now stock my fridge with Gruyeres, Emmantaler and fresh mozzarella and have boldly experimented with Camembert and Appenzeller. Likewise, I try to select a new and tasty yogurt with every trip to the market, fooling myself into believing that this sour milk is a healthy choice when it's really a dessert in disguise. Super Coop also carries a fantastic selection of creamy goodies right next to the yogurt which don't pretend to be anything but dessert. You can buy individual servings of chocolate puddings, panna cotta, creme brulee and even flan in a little glass jar. Still, there's a special place in my heart (or is it my thighs?) for Safeway's cheeses: cheddar, Muenster, pepper jack and queso fresco (Mexican cheese). I'll reunite with them when I get home, but for now, I'll live the life of a dairy queen. Safeway: 3; Super Coop: 2.

Bakery

Back in my Safeway shopping days, I was always a sliced bread girl. It was cheap and it made sense for sandwiches. After living in Switzerland for just four short months, however, I have converted to purchasing fresh, whole loaves and rolls. I enjoy the brown nutty, seedy rolls with lots of butter, but zoft, a gorgeous lumpy white bread is my new favorite. Super Coop's bakery also features fresh croissants, flaky fruit pastries and some kuchen, or cakes. What's missing from this carboholic's paradise, though, are two of my all time favorite foods, cookies and pies. Super Coop sells plenty of what I consider biscuits, the small shortbread cookies that accompany tea or coffee, but they lack as-big-as-my-hand, chunkalicious cookies with chocolate chips and nuts. I rarely allow myself these indulgences at either store, though, so Super Coop with its fresh bread is the clear winner. Safeway: 3; Super Coop: 3.

It seems that the showdown has ended in a tie; Safeway's cornucopia of fresh produce, meat and poultry is a blessing to Atkins dieters while Super Coop's dairy and bakery can turn bread and cheese into a fancy feast. One of the best parts of living in a different country is adding new, local items to your regular shopping list. Sure, it was disappointing to cross fresh salsa and hummus off my list, but replacing these with Swiss chocolates and ready-made pastry dough has been delicious.

Beauty and the Underbelly

Because the Swiss get Good Friday and Easter Monday off from work, Easter is a glorious four day weekend whether you celebrate the resurrection of Christ or a visit from the Easter Bunny. Mickey and I celebrated in our own way by devouring a two foot tall chocolate bunny and taking a road trip around Switzerland. None of this (neither the trip nor the consumption of the bunny) would have been possible without the patience and generosity of our friends Daniel and Sirpa. After four days, three nights, ten stops and 1,000 kilometers on Sirpa’s electric blue Puegot, we have seen Switzerland but are still hungry for more. To learn more about our travel route, click here.

When Daniel remarked at one point that we should take a ‘scenic route’ to our next destination, I had to laugh because the term doesn’t seem to apply to Switzerland. The whole country is so magnificent, I challenge someone to find a route that isn’t scenic here. While riding along the Thuner See, I glanced at the other drivers and wondered if the majestic alps and shimmering lake ever failed to inspire them. Do they think, ‘wow, I am lucky to live here’ on their commutes to and from work or does the scenery become commonplace? I imagine that these drivers re-appreciate the beauty of their homeland when they return from long trips abroad. Perhaps I too will gaze on the Pacific coast and the Golden Gate Bridge with a fresh eye when I eventually return to California, the land I love.

We enjoyed spectacular weather the whole weekend and the warm, clear days only added to the splendor. I thought often of Joanna Spyri’s famous story and my favorite film adaptation with Shirley Temple because we were indeed in Heidi land. Any one of the abandoned winter cow sheds could have passed for Grandfather’s hermitage and all the fields resembled those where Heidi and Peter led the goats to graze. Yes, this is the sort of place where sickly girls like Clara can fill up on fresh dairy products and learn how to walk. Perhaps a little Alpine air can cure almost any ill. And I think this is what the Swiss Tourism Bureau wants us to believe.

The Swiss authorities are pleased when we order fondue and bring home cuckoo clocks as souvenirs, but I get the impression that they don’t want to share their Heidi land with permanent visitors. While on this perfect adventure through this outwardly gorgeous country, Switzerland’s less pretty side emerged. It became glaringly apparent just how much the Swiss dislike foreigners and particularly immigrants from what was once Yugoslavia. I must admit that the Swiss have been nothing but friendly and helpful to me, but I have heard racist stereotypes about ex-Yugoslavians on several occasions. People accuse them of not trying to integrate themselves with Swiss society, driving loud cars, wearing flashy clothes and committing a disproportionate amount of crime. I heard of someone who wanted satellite TV, but did not install a dish on her balcony because it would make her look like an ex-Yugoslavian.

The manager of a hotel in Interlakken recommended a particular cafe with the following anecdote: ‘Go to _______ for a coffee. They charge five Francs for one coffee, but they have to. They used to charge three, but then the ex-Yugoslavians came and put their feet up on the tables, so they had to raise the price to five.’ To say that Americans don’t make similar disparaging remarks about immigrant populations would be a lie, but I had never heard such politically incorrect ideas from otherwise quite lovely individuals.* However, I guess therein lies one of the differences between prejudice here in Switzerland and at home in the States. Whereas at home showing racial bias is an absolute taboo, here in Switzerland making fun of foreigners is an acceptable national pastime. Whether it is done publicly or behind closed doors, it is unfortunate that immigrants are disrespected. My country was created and is maintained by the hands and hearts of hard working immigrants and I know that Switzerland couldn’t survive without them either.

Still, we enjoyed a fantastic romp about Switzerland. When I first got home, though, I felt a little disappointed that I couldn’t cross any major destinations off my mental list of sites to see. We stayed in Interlakken, but decided not to ascend its greatest tourist attraction, the Jungfraujoch – Top of Europe. Likewise, we spent one night in Lausanne but did not visit the Olympic Museum at the IOC headquarters. We did see the Matterhorn, a peak in southwestern Switzerland made famous by Toblerone wrappers and a ride by the same name at Disneyland, but were not allowed to get up close because it was too crowded and late in the day. Even from far away it was breathtaking. I learned once that Disney’s Matterhorn is a scale replica of the real one, but maybe that’s just one of those factoids that Orange County kids dream up when they get season passes to the happiest place on earth. Anyway, Switzerland’s superior public transportation system makes it easy for me to return to these places another time. Besides, isn’t it better to be left wanting more as opposed to crossing something off your list and never caring to return?

Again, I didn’t make it to Switzerland’s most famous Alps, but my travel checklist looks something like this:

Double Cream in Grueyere – Check

Are you familiar with a subtle yellow cheese by the same name? Yeah, it comes from this charming, pedestrian only town where the locals try to outdo each other with colorful window boxes. Besides its famous cheese served in fondue form, Grueyere’s other famous dish is double cream poured atop fresh raspberries. Did they double the time it takes to whip this cream or did they double the calories? I don’t care if they tripled the calories, it was that good.

Beautiful Old Churches Everywhere – Check

We have already chosen a wedding venue, but some of these cathedrals would have made picture perfect wedding sites. Even the catholic churches here in Switzerland are a lot less ornate than those in Italy and Spain, but I think the Swiss prefer it that way.

Decent Mexican Food in Lausanne – Incredibly... Check

Okay, so the salsa was more like marinara and the margarita glasses were rimmed with sugar and not salt, but this was the most authentic taste of Mexico we’ve had in months! The fajitas included grilled bell peppers and were actually served on a skillet. Sirpa said that Zurich also used to have a Poco Loco, but it went out of business. Maybe their menus that are so large you need eye holes to see your date just didn’t appeal to Zurichers.

Castle Ruins in Sion – Check

The gentle fluttering of hundreds of butterflies added to the enchantment of this hilltop fortress. I could easily imagine myself in a historical romance novel. I would eavesdrop on gossip about the chambermaid and the knight while taking my lunch on the esplanade.

One of the best parts of this trip was just dining alfresco with good friends. I imagine that if someone followed the same route that we did on a different weekend in different weather conditions, it would still be scenic, but they would experience a different Switzerland. Maybe they would never notice how xenophobic the Swiss can be. I suppose that every rose, even one as radiant as Switzerland, has its thorn.

* Note: My employers are an important exception to this trend. I have never heard them say anything disrespectful about foreigners.